Are You Kidding Me?
by mae2
Summary: Yet another V/B get togheter story, rated PG for a little bit of swearing, not to much. my first story, please R/R *kinda on hold* *3 chapters* *not completed*
1. The start (chapter 1&2)

So, this is my very first Fan fiction story. I hope you like it!  
  
it's not completed yet, but i'm working on that.  
  
1 Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ, names or characters, but i'm not making any money of them either. If you'd sue me, you'd only get junk.Â    
  
Chapter one  
  
Â   
  
It was a nice sunny day.  
  
2 Bulma was sitting in the garden behind the capsule corp., when she heared a big blast coming from the gravity machine. 'O no, not again. He didn't wreck the gravity machine again, did he?' She tought as she walked towards the machine. Arrived on the scene, she saw a totally devasteded gravity machine, but no Vegeta. Knowing he still had to be somwhere in there, she started searching.As she removed a few pieces of concrete, a gloved hand raised out of the rubble in front of her. "whah!" Bulma yelled, as Vegeta climbed out of the rubble. "You annoying sayin!!" Bulma yelled "You scared the living daylights out of my!" "I don't need your help, woman"As he said that, Vegeta collapsed. "Vegeta?" Bulma asked. But Vegeta didn't respond to her question. Bulma tried to carrie him inside, but she was not quite strong enough, so she ended up trying to drag him in. As Bulma tried to drag Vegeta inside, Yamcha arrived. "What happned here?"He asked. "The gravity machine collapsed again, but now, Vegeta was still in there." Bulma said "Are you going to help me or what?!?" "O, oke."Yamcha said as he threw Vegeta over his shoulder. Inside, Bulma told Yamcha to lay Vegeta on the couch. Just a few minutes later, Vegeta woke up. "What am i doing here?" He yelled at Bulma. "The gravity machine collapsed on you. Yamcha and I got you out of the rubble and put you here." Bulma said "You might not have made it on your own."Â  "I'm a sayin price. I can do this on my own." He said as he stood up. as he tried to move his feet, he fell over again. As Yamcha cought him, he started yelling again. "I do not need your help. I can do this on my own!" Yamcha puched him back on the couch. "you eave to rest Vegeta." Yamcha said. "I can do what i want to do!" "Vegeta, now listen to me. You can't go on wrecking things like that. sooner or later, you are going to get killed in there." Bulma yelled. "Well, now i'm in here, fix me some food, woman!"Â Â Â  "My name is Bulma! B-U-L-M-A!! Say it!!"Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â  "oke, 'Bulma' get my food" Vegeta yelled. Bulma walked to the kitchen. "You shouldn't let him boss you around like that." Yamcha said. "Hmm" Bulma said. "you really shouldn't" Yamcha said. Bulma walked to the living room, where VegetaÂ  was, waiting for his meal. "Couldn't you go any faster? A sayin woman woul have fixed me a mela in no time." "I'm not one of those monkey women, Vegeta." As she turned around, Vegeta was already gone, leaving only dirty dishes behind. "There he goes again." Yamcha said "I don't see how you can live with that arrogant alien."  
  
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Chapter two  
  
Vegeta quikly ate his meal, and then took of to his moutain, as he called it. His mountain was a mountain (duh) where he would go is he had a lot on his mind. Just to think tings over. Now, he was there, on the very top of the mountain, enjoying the view. The Mountain was covered with flouwers. All kinds of wild flouwers. From the east side of the mountain, you could see the sea.Â  The west side showed a beautiful valley, with more mountains in the distance. As normal, Vegeta was just sitting on top of the mountain. Thinking of things. Thinking of Bulma. She really was beautifull when she was mad. 'I still don't get what she sees in that pathetic earthling.' Vegeta thought. 'He always says she's the only one, but he's seeing other woman all the time.'  
  
Bulma was laying in her bed. Alone. Again. Yamcha was gone again, out having fun in the club. so there she was. Waiting for him to come home. She got up and went down the stairs. She knew that she would sleep a lot better is she was relaxed, and she always got relaxed if she could work on some kind of mechanical machine. She walked to the kitchen. There was te micro- wave. Maybe she could pull that apart. She grabbed her tools from the counter and started. First, she got the screws out of the back of the machine. Then *YAWN* see, it was working, she was already getting tyred. Then she started with the inside. A few minutes later, she was fast asleep, on a chair in the kitchen. With her head on the wrecked micro-wave.Â   
  
Late that night, Vegeta entered the Capsule Corp. He entered the kitchen. He wanted to get a snack, before going to sleep. There he found her. Asleep. On a chair. 'Stupid woman' he tought as he scooped her in his arms. She hardly moved, exept her breathing, she was completly still. He walked her up the stair, to her room.  
  
Morning. Bulma woke up, sunshine through her window, in her own bed. Her own bed? How did she get here? When she got downstairs, she saw a open fridge, empty. Obvius Vegeta was here. The table was covered with dirty dishes. 'No breakfast for me.' She tought 'He probally ate everything.' She started putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Then she saw a plate, with food on it. Two pieces of bacon, toasted, and an egg. Still pretty warm. He must not be gone that long then. Why did he leave his food? Was it his food? What's that? A note? 'For you, woman' it said. 'Aha. He actually left me some food. How nice.' Bulma thought as she sat down to enjoy her meal. 'Actually tastes pretty good.' She thought 'I'd better do some shoppig for supper, sins Vegeta ate everything again."  
  
Vegeta looked in, through the kitchen window. 'She found the food.' He thought as he wached her eat it.  
  
Bulma licked her fingers. 'That sayin is a pretty good cook.' she thought, as she put her dish in the dishwasher. Then she saw the micro-wave. 'So I was downstari last night, how did i get upstaris?' Bulma thought 'There actually is only one option, Vegeta must have brought me upstairs.' She started to put the micro-wave together again. 'No, that can't be, i must have walked upstairs myself last night.'  
  
Vegeta walked into the kitchen. He turned to the fridge. "O no you don't" Bulma said whem he was about to grab the steaks. "They're for supper, so you'd better not eat them." "I can deside that for myself." Vegeta said as he took a bite from one of the steaks. He threw the others back in the fridge. "No steak for you at supper" Bulma said. "We'll see." Vegeta said. 'He doesn't actually think he's still going to get a steak, does he? he just ate his. I'm certainly not going to buy him an other one.' Bulma thought. "You'll just have to give me yours." Vegeta said. "No way! I plan on eating MY dinner myself!" Bulma shouted "No way you're going to get that!" "I wouldn't be so shoure if i were you." "Well, you're not me, so i'll eat my steak." Bulma shouted. "Fine, have it your way woman, i'll just eat them all then." Vegeta said as a smirk formed on his face. Vegeta walked towards the refridgerator. As he opned it, Mrs. Brief entered the kitchen. "What's all the shouting about?" She asked "Would you like a steak, Vegeta?" "Yeah, shore." he awnsered while he smirked at Bulma. "Mum, he just ate his steak!" "That's no problem dear, we have to many of them anyway. Your Dad and I will not be joining the two of you for dinner, we are leaving on a buisness trip in half an hour." "You're leaving??" Bulma questioned. "Yes, but, i'm going to pack my bags, we're leaving soon." "Okay, see you." Bulma said as her mother rushed upstairs. "So i'm still going to get my steak for dinner."Vegeta said, as he left the hous, laughing at Bulma. 'That irritating monkey.' Bulma thought 'He always get things his way.'Â   
  
She walked outside, towards her pool. 'Would the water be warm?' She thought as she lowered her foot in the water. 'Icy.' she thought as she walked over to the pool house. Lukkely, the pool has an heating- installation. She turned that on and walked inside. A few moments later, she came out of the house, dressed in her new bikini. By now, the water was quite warm, so she quikly dove in. It was again, a warm day, so Bulma was glad to finally cool of. After a few moments, Vegeta came out, sweatty from his intens training. 'What is she doing? Why is she floating around in that fake pond?' He questioned himself. 'What kind of stuff is that? It looks like water, but it smells like chemicals. What is she doing so close to it? Wouldn't she get hurt if she touched it?'Â  "Come on in!" Bulma said, "The water's nice." "That's not water." Vegeta awnsered. "Yes it is." "No, it doesn't smell anything like water, it smells toxic." "That's the chloreen, dummy. It's to keep the water cleen." 'Cleen? it doesn't smell cleen.' Vegeta thought as he walked to the pool. "Don't go in like that, you have to wear a swimming-sout." "A what?" "Just go inside and look in you closet, i'm shore I bought you one a while ago." "Yeah right." Vegeta mumbled. A few moments later, Vegeta also came out of the house, dressed in a swimming- sout. "Told ya!" Bulma said "Come on in!" "Are you shore it's just water?" "Yes, look." She said as she rolled of her air-matras, into the water. "See, i'm perfectly fine." "Well, if you human can take it, I must easily be able to swim in it." Vegeta said. "You can swim, right?" Bulma asked. "Of course i can!" Vegeta shouted "I am prince of sayins, of course i can swim!" "Lets see." Bulma said. There he went. 'So, he can swim.' Bulma thought. 'This has been a while, when was the last time I swam? O yes, on Namek.' Vegeta thought as he swam a few laps. 'This isn't as easy as it looks.' Vegeta thught. 'I may have to practice a bit more.' 'He does't swim that good.' Bulma thought. 'Even i swim better. Maybe not faster, but I've got a better technique.' "Where did you learn to swim?" Bulma asked. "I learned it myself. When i was young, i had to destroy planets for Freeza, you know, and in my spare time, i sometimes went swimming." "O, i see, that's why you have such a lowsee technique." "What did you say?" "You swim terrible." "No i don't. I was one of the best swimmersÂ  of my planet." 'Then your planet can't swim." Bulma said. "Don't you say that!" Vegeta yelled "My planet is a lot better as yours!" 'What happned?' Bulma thought. 'I've never seen him this mad.' Vegeta turned around. "I'm not going to swim anymore." He said. "Fine." "Fine." Vegeta got out. He flew back to his room and changed his clothes again. "Bulma honey!" Mrs. Briefs shouted. "Yes mom?" "We're leaving now dear!" "Wait a sec!" Bulma shouted as she climbed out of her pool and wrapped herself in a towel.Â  "Mom, when are you back?" "In a week dear." 'Why do they have to leave this week? I don't want to be alone.' Bulma thought. 'I don't want to spend a whole week alone with that monkey.' "Okay." Bulma said. "Enjoy youself honey." Mrs. Briefs said. "There's plenty of food in the fridge, but if you need more, just buy it, okay?" "Yes mom." "Are you coming honey?" Mr. Briefs said. "Yes dear." Mrs. Brief said. "Enjoy your week!" 'Shore.' Bulma thought as she walked towards the house. 'This is going to be just great.'  
  
When she entered her house, Vegeta was gone again. 'Fine. Soot yourself. You can make your own dinner. I'm going on a date.' RING RING RING. The phone rang. "Hi." Bulma said. "Hi Bulma." "O, hi Yamcha. What's up?" "Uhm, i kind of got a problam. I don't think i'll make it tonight." "You what?!? You said you'ld come." "I know, but something came up." "Not again?" "I'm sorry." "Well, okay, I'll see you around then." "We can set an other date." "Never mind Yamcha. you'll just break it again." "No really, I'll ......" "Yamcha, forget it. We're over." Click. Bulma hung up. 'He just did it agian, didn't he? He just stood me up again. This was the last time. They're over now.'  
  
"He couldn't make it, could he?" Vegeta asked. "Mind your own buisness." Bulma whispered. "I told you. You should have known, he's just a good for nothing human." "Don't you talk of him that way. He was always there for me." Bulma said. 'Unlike someone else I know.' She thought. "Always?" Vegeta asked her. "I don't think so. What when you broke up, about a month ago. Or, when you broke up last week." "Now it's for always." "I've heared that before." "Just leave, will you. I don't want you to hang around me anymore." "Fine." Vegeta walked away. Around the corner he stood stil for a moment, just to hear Bulma crie. 'She should have known' he thought.  
  
  
  
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	2. Chapter 3

The next morning, Bulma was laying in her bed. Alone. She was single now. 'Single?' She thought. 'Single. How long ago is it that i was really single? Five years or so?'  
  
She got dressed and went downstaris. To her surprise, there where no dirty dishes on the table. Instaid, they all where washed and on the counter. Well, almost all. One plate was shattered, but thats not so bad. 'Did he actually have ketshup with his breakfast?' She thought. As she walked closer, she saw that the ketshup was on an knife next to the sink, witch was still filled with red coulered water, on a towel, and on the gound. 'On the ground?' She thought. 'Hey, it looks like a trail.' As she followed the trail, she wondered why there was a trail of ketchup thrug the kitchen, into the living room. 'Is it really ketchup?' She thought. 'It couldn't be that Vegeta had cut himself while doing the dishes, right? Well, if he did, it couldn't be that bad, only his finger or so.' Then she saw him. He was looking for something, with his hand wrapped up in an other towel. "What happned?" Bulma asked. "Nothing." Vegeta mumbled. "I just cut my hand." "Okay. What are you looking for?" "A frist-aid kit." "I'll get you one." Bulma said as he walked back into the kitchen. "Here." Bulma said while she tossed him the kit. "Thanks." Vegeta mumbled as he took the towel of his hand. There was a gigantic cut across his handpalm. "Here let me help." Bulma said as she walked towards him. "I can handle this." Vegeta said. "I'll help." Bulma grabbed his wrist. Vegeta pulled back. "Dont be such a baby." She said as she pulled his wrist back to her again. "What's that?" "Nothing. Just a scratch. Nothing I can't hanlde." Vegeta hissed. "Okay, soot yourself." Bulma yelled. 'Arrogant bastard.' 'Bitch.'  
  
'Sometimes he's really a gerk! Actually, not sometimes, all the time!' Bulma thought to herself.Â   
  
'Annoying woman! Always trying to make me do everything her way. Blast her!' Vegeta thought. 'Can't she just leave me alone? Can't those stupid humans be alone for a few minutes? Why do they insist on tormenting me?' By now, the bleeding had stopped, and Vegeta went back outside. He walked towards his gravity machine, when he heared the woman shout "You'd better clean up you mess, or i'll distroy your precius gravity machine!" "Shut up woman! Can't you see i'm trying to train here?" Vegeta yelled back. "Go and claen it yourself!" "Fine, i'll leave the mess and wreck your machine. I'll not fix it untill the blood is gone!" 'Stupid woman. I can fix the machine myself.' "Fine!" "Fine!" Bulma walked back into the house. 'Man. Can't that monkey take care of himself? Do i have to do everything for him?' She thought.  
  
Dinnertime at the Capsule Corp.:  
  
"He monkey, dinner's ready!" Bulma yelled. 'Still broken?' She thought with a laugh. That afternoon, just after the fight, something in the gravity machine broke. It wouldn't go higher as 10 times gravity. "Blasted machine!" Vegeta had yelled. That didn't fix it, so Vegeta tried. And tried. And tried. And was stiil trying. In fact, Vegeta was still working on it that moment. 'Stupid Vegeta. Doesn't he know he needs this? Who took that out?' Bulma though with a grin while she looked at the chip in her hand. The door slammed open. Quikly, Bulma hid the microchip. "Blasted Machine! You and your stupid human technologies!" Vegeta yelled. "Blast you all!" "Well, well, you can't fix it after all, can you?" "Just wait and see! I'll fix it! i'll make it ten times better as you can ever do!" "Yeah right." "Shut up." Vegeta said. "Where's my dinner?" "It's microwave dinner tonight." Bulma said as she took her meal out of the microwave. "I'll toast my own." Vegeta said as he grabbed a cold meal from the pile. 'Thank God mom had bought 25 meals. That's enough to feed a small army. Or a sayin.' Bulma thought. 'How does this thing work?' Vegeta thought. 'I could ask her. NO WAY! where did that thought come from? I'm not going to ask her! Looking at these stupid humans, the machine should be really easy to control.' Vegeta pushed a few numbers and then the start button. "Shut up!" Vegeta shouted as Bulma began to laugh. "I'll blast your head off!" As Vegeta turned to his meal, the microwave peeped. Bulma started laughing again, at the site of Vegeta, jumping up in the air, scared of a microwave. 'A microwave, of all things!!' She thought. Vegeta opened the machine, and moved a step back in disgust of the hiddeus smell coming from the macine. By now, Bulma was rolling on the floor with laughter. "Shut up woman!" Vegat yelled. 'This is not going to work.' Vegeta thought. 'I Could just eat her meal. Or make her make me a meal... That just might work.' "Then you do it!" Vegeta yelled. "It's your machine, make it work!" "Shore." Bulma said, carefull not to push her luck. "Give me the meal." Vegeta handed her the burning, smoking thing that was still in the microwave. Quikly, Bulma threw it in the dumpster. "Now, give me a new one." "Get it yourself!" Vegeta said. "Fine, make your own dinner then." Bulma said as she sat down to eat her meal. Vegeta dropped a frozen meal in front of her. "Here." He said. "Now put it in the machine." Bulma said. Vegeta grabbed the meal, almost threw it in the microwave and shut the door. "Now, push the button with one minute on it three times. You think you can do that?" "Of course! i'm a prince. I can do almost everything." Vegeta said. "This one?" "Yes, that one." Bulma said. "Did you push it three times?" "Yes." "Now, push the start button, okay?" "Yeah, then what?" "Just be patient. when the counter hits zero, your meal's done." *About two and a half minutes later* PING! Vegeta opened the door and grabbed his meal. "AUCH!" Vegeta screamed as the meal dropped to the floor. 'It's hot silly!" Bulma started laughing agian. 'This is going to be a small mael for him, and a funny one for me!' she thought.'Stupid sayin!' 


End file.
